I started this blog with the intent to write about my journey through recovering from an eating disorder. Turns out I am proud to say that my 1 year in recovery happened this month. I left The Emily Program with the tools to help me combat my disordered eating behaviors, and excessive over exercising. I … Continue reading The Shift; From Broken To Restoration.
Tuesday Waiting in the ER was ridiculous. after leaving my primary doctors she said she would call ahead. that was the least bit helpful. We arrived 93 degrees outside. The ER was packed. I couldn't take my sunglasses off, my leg wouldn't stop shaking with anxiety. I gripped my purse so tight my hands turned … Continue reading Tuesday…The day I asked for help.
Body love! Body Acceptance! Boy those sound great. I preach this every day. But I have been finding it hard to practice what I preach. I have been combating this horrible voice for weeks inside my head. "you're getting fatter." "That doesn't fit you anymore, see its true." Counteracting it with a new voice that … Continue reading Sitting in this body.
I sit here with an unopened bottle of medication still in the bag fresh from the pharmacy. I can’t help but stare at it. Here it is. What I would hope would be the answer. The solution to my deepest darkest depths of sadness. One would think if they finally had the solution to riding … Continue reading To the Pharmacist Who Made Me Feel Comfortable Picking Up My Antidepressant.
Music is powerful, for years music has been used as a way to express emotions that we can’t seem to only speak. Music brings both the strength of lyrics and musical harmony that has a way to touch our most inner being. Music not only helps us express our emotions, it has the ability to … Continue reading My Playlist For When I feel Like Giving Up.
1.You are visibly ill. You have to look sick in order to actually be sick. When people hear you have an eating disorder their first initial thought is "Huh, well you don't look like you have one." or "You look healthy to me" What they don't understand is that its not all physical … Continue reading The Worst Assumptions People Make About Living With an Eating Disorder
An early Saturday morning, coffee dripping, I rise from bed excited for whats about to unfold. A new adventure awaits. I start gathering my final things before hitting the road with my husband. I quickly grab a yogurt so that I have some fuel to run off of, knowing this is going to be … Continue reading What my 8 Mile 3700 in elevation gain Hike taught me about self love.
Scrolling through my Facebook feed casually , seeing updates on people's weekends, but when I scrolled past a news article by NPR I froze, I felt an eerie creepy feeling tingle up and down my spine, I could feel my body temperature rise, heart beat rapid it read: "Brock Turner Freed From Jail After Serving … Continue reading Breaking the Silence, Is it worth it?
Three Months, since intensive outpatient treatment. I remember how scared and unsure I was about "Graduating" from IOP, yet a surge of excitement tingled throughout my body. I couldn't wait to implement the new tools and knowledge I had gained while completely surrendering myself to some of the hardest months of my life thus far. … Continue reading Self Acceptance at any age?